My Blog # 001

Hello, I'm Rory McButt.
Despite this being my official blogspot and having blogged before here, alongside posting regularly here, this is my first personal blog. The forthcoming My Blog's will essentially be online diary entries. As they're publicly viewable I will be disguising the identity of certain individuals for personal reasons.



Many changes have forced their way into my life over the past few months and my therapist suggested this as a new approach to embrace and conquer new challenges.
Over the years I kept detailed diaries, all of which I was encouraged to destroy by two close friends, whom I shall only refer to as GG and BH.
It has gradually occurred to me that all is not well in my workplace. Despite an attempted denial, tensions had been brewing for some considerable time. It is only now I am beginning to awaken to the reality of said tensions.
Four weeks ago my close friend and work-colleague left the country.
I was never informed and spent two sleepless weeks worrying and weeping but nevertheless working. After a quick holiday to Poland, another friend and colleague (BH) managed to track down our mutual friend (GG), across the Atlantic, somewhere in North America.
I spent several days angry, confused and apathetic. A visit to my therapist and another day in the workplace and here I am writing this blog.
At this very moment I am struggling with great guilt as my mind seems to be hinting at a reality I would never have previously thought possible.
GG has been my mentor, guiding light and artistic muse for the best part of seven years however since his disappearance, contrary to all expectations, I have not withered away into a stew of depression. Rather, following a jolly day at the office with BH and some new friends, life may in fact be able to continue. This possibility currently scares me.
The Ill-Fitting Garibaldis release their seventh studio album in August. It has been hard work on us all due to a host of intervening negative circumstances. We have been saved however by the input of new blood in the workplace. I have met and worked alongside some rather incredible talent - including the likes of Edith Jazz, Nigel Harris and Roamin' Roman Munroe - and more recently been in serious discussion with Azeem Muhammed, Jimi Jazz and Edwina Goosepot regarding collaboration.
A new home is giving me fresh perspective on my future. I feel the emotional weight's being lifted. My arrest, the break-up with Randy, loss of a close friend - all being replaced by hope. Time and therapy will tell all.

R.