RIP Philip Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg

♥ ♥ ♥ RIP ♥ ♥ ♥

Philip Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg 192?-2021

With regrets and sadness I must respond to the death of our beloved "Prince" Philip (aka The Duke of Edinburgh).  This is a solomen occastion for all Scotsfolk.  I offer my condolensenses to Philip's wife, city and other loved ones.

The Virus has taken its most high profile victim but we must stay strong and continue to fight it.  I urge all readers to make sure they have a mask on at all times.  After many changes in my life (as of the last couple of months) I had been intending to return to this blog with new news.  But not this news.  Why this news?  Sad, sad news.

 

 

Here is my tribute (which I am making public domain to celebrate this most charitable of men)

 

Elegy for a fellow feminist

Touched by you

A century of us were

Humbled and dominated

But lovingly, as if free

A marriage intact

Gender roles flipped

You showed women

They could be King

It was his ambition all young able-bodied boys compete in various outdoor challenges so I would urge you donate money in memory of the dead Philip here: https://www.dofe.org/donate/

With love, R x

My Blog # 014 ~ Endless Apologies

As it began so it shall end...

Greetings Sisters of the One True Planet, Her Majestress, Mater Earth. (Peace be upon her.)

In light of the current global low-frequency CRISIS, I feel now is the time for honesty on my part. On everyone's parts.

Firstly I apologise for those who only know my online presence. I concede this aspect of myself has been in limited availability over the years. Due to the onset of brutal electromagnetic hypersensitivity I started suffering shortly after my last post, I have been distancing from ALL electricity for a long time now. I'm not sure how long exactly. My offline self has reaped the benefits however and - although still very unhappy in my skin day-to-day - I continue to sacrifice ego and know there is a larger plan for me. For us all. So despite unhappiness, also much happiness. Happy despite tears. Many many tears, irregular IBS and decreasing EHD. This first apology culminates in the announcement herein of the killing-off of this blog. This online self no-more. I had pondered doing so with the advent of EHD but THE VIRUS coming into the world has solidified this decision.

Bringing me to a second apology: I apologise for contributing to the birthing of THE VIRUS. My constant negativity towards myself, my planet, my life, has added to the net-negativity imposed by us all on One True Planet. I truly believe my own negativity to be "the straw that broke the camels black". Knowing the introduction of 5G technology was going to have a BAD impact on Mater Earth, what did I do? What did any of us do? I used EHD as an excuse to avoid using FIRE to destroy all transmitters of electricity. The grid MUST be brought down if we are to return to our Natural Self. I self-loath and in turn THE VIRUS wreaks revenge. As below so above and beyond, I imagine? Drawn beyond the lime of treason. Push my envelopes and watch me flap. Oh blinding FAITH.

A third and final statement of apology avec proof of guilt: I end my blog as it began. Poetry. Revisiting my diary on "The Day Of The Virus" these are the words written GMT0353 31/12/19. I repeat these words as a prayer to the Earth Goddess. Please all, disconnect from your technology and connect with your fellow HOMOS. Forever in utero. Down with the Grid.

Sisters o' sisters
O' Mater Earth
Knead and sow
Plow and furrow
And in celestial womb
Grow

Yester inform
Unknowingly learn
And yearn earnings o'
Morrow's harvest
Slowing hereafter
Too soon

Hillock from stream
Hydration form steam
To each her own
And owned alone
Through great tidings
Below

Festoon sunder
Ineffectual plunder
Buzzard's Hat
Rhyming this not that
In underlying everlasting
Feminism
 

Everlasting peace,
R x

My Blog # 013 ~ et moi

#MeToo

A number sign and five letters. Yet so much anguish contained within.

With the wave of digitally-empowered LGBTQ sisters, now is also the time for me to come forward and tell of a time when I too fell victim to a sexual predator.

It was during my teenage years, back when I was inhabiting the body of a wee boy. [Edit: to clarify, I was at that time the said boy. Not, as some of you trolls have suggested, that I was perpetrating the crimes. Get real.]

I was a music enthused under-developed youngster, innocent to the ways of the world. That is: innocent to the wickedness all men possess within.

Consequently I was molested repeatedly by a musician I was working with around the years 2005-2006. I don't want to name names.

I have long been confused about this issue as at the time I was very receptive to the sexual attention and although not being able to admit it - because I was definitely not gay!!! - got pleasure and comfort from the "encounters."

The woman in me now understands this "affection" for what it really was: classic male manipulation. I was a victim of brain washing. I was brain washed into THINKING I was enjoying intimacy with another man. He was several months older than me so clearly I was a vulnerable target. It disgusts me.


This perpetrator fled to the other side of the country as I hit my 17th birthday. Could that be a coincidence? I'll let you be the judge of that!!!

Now admittedly we continued to have a friendship up until my recent gender revelation which was kind, humorous and gentle on his part. (Oh so easy to pretend from behind a keyboard!) And although there is no evidence of this perpetrator having committed crimes against any other, as all my victim-sisters out there will testify: all men should be treated guilty until proven innocent. In my eyes the lack of evidence just displays how cunning this man truly was and probably continues to be. Yes he is now "happily" married but I'm sure many cruel predators hide behind the appearance of stability marriage implies.

I can only hope that through my advice, no other trans-woman has to be subjected to the cruel manipulation of a man in their pre-re-gender-assigned teenage years.

I feel better for getting this off my breasts. And although I never did feel like a victim at any point up until recently, that isn't to say I wasn't one. I was unaware. Everyday I'm now revisiting the past and seeing where men have mistreated me.

One final warning sisters: do your best to wake up and smell the coffee. 99% of men cannot be trusted. Scientific evidence may not back this up but I have a proof greater than that of science. The fact is not only have I spent the majority of my life living with men, for the majority of my life I was one. So I know.

May the Gods bless and heal all the sisters who may now feel brave enough to come forward on social media. I love you all, stay strong, stay female.


R.
x

My Blog # 012 ~ a 'trans'-formation

It is official and I finally feel free of all inhibitions to talk openly with you: readers of the present and the future!


Hello, my name is Rory, a transgender female born into the body of a Scotsman in the last decade of the 20th Century. For years, like so many, I struggled with the skin I was in.

I couldn't understand why I never fitted in with other boys. Why despite definitely not being gay, post-puberty I was attracted to men. Why my poetic sensabilities were so forthcoming whilst my physical abilities as a drummer were so limited. Why my spatial awareness was so impaired. Why I craved peace not war...

I was always physically weaker than other boys. Mercilessly bullied for my "strange ways" throughout childhood and the majority of my twenties. I always loved cooking, sewing and bright colours. Always far more conscious of bodily and household cleanliness than seemed normal for a man. A truly torturous existence I lived. Until it all became clear.

I was raised in Thurso on the northern tip of Scotland, by my father. He always despised me and despite having encouraged me to take up the snare drum (the drum corps youth regiment was supposedly the easiest way to get into the army) he later decried me using those skills for rock and roll. Telling me music would lead to no good, I - then a teenage boy - ignored his warnings and went searching for fame and fortune as drummer and songwriter in an English rock trio (pah, the stupidity of man!) Father ultimately proved correct.

Upon returning to his abode several years back, I received the worst physical and verbal beatings I have ever experienced. I do not wish to call him out on these. They were for the best. They were what I needed. They led to the woman I am today. He always told me I was a "walloper" who needed "t' grow a set a' baws". "Yer a' gurl" had been his mantra my entire life and it was during a particularly gruelling fist-attack that his message finally hit home, so to speak.

Thanks to my amazing friends in the Thurso Wicca community who opened up my spiritual side consequently enabling me to engage in a deep understanding and acceptance of myself, that nascent thought "perhaps you are a girl?" took its course. By the time I moved to Cumbernauld a couple of years on, I was well and truly on course to being the independent woman who stands before you today. (Or should that be "sits before you today"? Ho ho!)

Perhaps if it wasn't for the gradually ever-more enlightened age we're living in, I'd have never realised I was a woman born into the body of a man. It is only looking back with hindsight on my previous life that events make sense. Puberty was particularly confusing for me. Thinking at the time I was supposed to be a man, it was very awkward when, as late as my twentith birthday, my testicles still hadn't dropped. Of course my body was attempting the unnatural! Eventually the testes were medically coaxed out by a doctor who queried the small nubbin of shaft and (comparatively) large bulb that was my 'todger' [Yorkshire term I picked up meaning penis]. I was severely teased by a couple of work colleagues (not mentioning any names) over many years that it looked more like a "large clit" [they however used a more vulgar phrase that - as a woman - I find incredibly offensive] than true male anatomy. Medically I was catagorised as suffering from the condition parva ipsum colem. I'm 100% convinced these issues and every other I ever experienced were all down to the fact my body was perpetually in an unnatural state.

We take technology for granted but it is scary to think that without the internet I would most likely not have been able to self-diagnose my transgender state. Would know nothing about my heroes Chelsea Manning, Jenna Talackova and Caitlyn Jenner, and very possibly have struggled on as an inadequate, confused man - no doubt committing suicide as (at best) a middle-aged drunkard. It is to the brave global transgender community I owe my life alongside Mother Earth, the Universal Goddesses of Truth, Forgiveness and Awareness and my Wiccan friends across Scotland and elsewhere (you know who you are!)

So it is now October 2017.

Ten months have passed since my acceptance of womanhood and by deed poll successfully my name and gender has been corrected. I have been on hormone therapy but my body hasn't taken too well to it thus far and there have been some frankly groteseque side-effects which led me to quit work before summer and continue to leave me mostly housebound. At least for the time being! That infinitely-deep well of faith keeps me positive.

To fans of my music, I am aware changing surname could entail confusion but I feel to truly enjoy the newly found emanicipation I must escape from a family name I have always disliked, both for its enunciation and evocation of buttocks. (One may have assumed I would take up my sometime pseudonym "McBrute" but this again is a brutal masculine sounding name I no longer wish to be associated with.) I will be updating all my promo pictures when I am healthy enough to do so and although the pitch of my voice has yet to change significantly, as it regains its true femininity I may just have one or two more songs in me yet! ;)

McBee was the nickname bestowed upon me by High Priestess Nigella S. Thringe during my first visit to Stromness in 2014 and in light of her tragic, unexpected passing last year, I thought I would honour her by making it my official surname. The fact Rory is a gender-neutral name explains why subconciously I've always liked it and felt like a 'Rory'. Kaitlyn on the other hand is both tribute to my favourite female wrestler and aforementioned Ms Jenner - whilst keeping the 'K' of my birth initials intact. Changing initials seemed quite honestly a step too far!

How am I finding life as a woman? So far so good! Mentally at least. Physically quite the opposite but it is very early days. I have at least joined up with the feminist society in Cumbernauld and next week hope to take part in the protest to put an end to ALL discrimination. It is the 21st Century, when will men learn their place? We women are not only going to show the chauvinist male pigs that we exist but (in the words of the Queen herself) "we rule the world"!*

We transgender females may yet not be fully accepted in Cumbernauld but we continue to fight the good fight of awareness and understanding (peacefully of course). If any of you have questions or doubts about your own transgender issues do contact me. I will be shortly publishing on this site my poetry as a woman - and in true humbleness I say it is FAR greater than anything conceived before my awakening - alongside more frequent updates about my new life.

And how to end this momentous update? A short prayer of course;

Mother Earth,
High Priestess Universe
I am born again.
Semblance in truth,
Femininity unbounded
You create and protect.
Womanhood creates,
And is life
So praise her.
In peace


I love you all,
R x


* To my wiccan sisters: like you I *do* condemn Beyoncé's bourgoise message but can't deny I find her lyrics empowering. I am speaking as a poet alongside a fan of music.

An Awakening

The first day of a new year, the first day of a new me. An awakening has occured, please join me in The Lady's Prayer:

 ♀

Our Mother,

Who art amongst us,

Hallowed is Thy presence.

Our realm is here,

We sense Thee near,

On Earth, which is our living Heaven.

Teach us this day to bake our bread,

And accept us in our human-ness

As we accept each other, in spite of our limitations.

Lead us not into domination,

But empower us to freedom.

For ours is this Air, This Fire,

This Water, This Earth,

Forever and Ever.

Blessed Be.