My Blog # 014 ~ Endless Apologies

As it began so it shall end...

Greetings Sisters of the One True Planet, Her Majestress, Mater Earth. (Peace be upon her.)

In light of the current global low-frequency CRISIS, I feel now is the time for honesty on my part. On everyone's parts.

Firstly I apologise for those who only know my online presence. I concede this aspect of myself has been in limited availability over the years. Due to the onset of brutal electromagnetic hypersensitivity I started suffering shortly after my last post, I have been distancing from ALL electricity for a long time now. I'm not sure how long exactly. My offline self has reaped the benefits however and - although still very unhappy in my skin day-to-day - I continue to sacrifice ego and know there is a larger plan for me. For us all. So despite unhappiness, also much happiness. Happy despite tears. Many many tears, irregular IBS and decreasing EHD. This first apology culminates in the announcement herein of the killing-off of this blog. This online self no-more. I had pondered doing so with the advent of EHD but THE VIRUS coming into the world has solidified this decision.

Bringing me to a second apology: I apologise for contributing to the birthing of THE VIRUS. My constant negativity towards myself, my planet, my life, has added to the net-negativity imposed by us all on One True Planet. I truly believe my own negativity to be "the straw that broke the camels black". Knowing the introduction of 5G technology was going to have a BAD impact on Mater Earth, what did I do? What did any of us do? I used EHD as an excuse to avoid using FIRE to destroy all transmitters of electricity. The grid MUST be brought down if we are to return to our Natural Self. I self-loath and in turn THE VIRUS wreaks revenge. As below so above and beyond, I imagine? Drawn beyond the lime of treason. Push my envelopes and watch me flap. Oh blinding FAITH.

A third and final statement of apology avec proof of guilt: I end my blog as it began. Poetry. Revisiting my diary on "The Day Of The Virus" these are the words written GMT0353 31/12/19. I repeat these words as a prayer to the Earth Goddess. Please all, disconnect from your technology and connect with your fellow HOMOS. Forever in utero. Down with the Grid.

Sisters o' sisters
O' Mater Earth
Knead and sow
Plow and furrow
And in celestial womb
Grow

Yester inform
Unknowingly learn
And yearn earnings o'
Morrow's harvest
Slowing hereafter
Too soon

Hillock from stream
Hydration form steam
To each her own
And owned alone
Through great tidings
Below

Festoon sunder
Ineffectual plunder
Buzzard's Hat
Rhyming this not that
In underlying everlasting
Feminism
 

Everlasting peace,
R x

Goodbye, Keith.

Yesterday, Monday 11th December 2017, was a grave day.

With immense sorrow, the day literally no-one wanted to see, arrived. The day Keith "Cheggers" Chegwin died.

I can't believe it. So little time has passed but I feel compelled to lay down my feelings although still so raw, so painful.

Hearing his name on the radio yesterday my heart leapt. I assumed, as presumably we all did hearing his name on the news, that Our Keith was coming back to the screen. The big screen? The little screen? Perhaps the theatre? Panto surely?

No. Vae autem homini pulchra mortuus est.

It is at these darkest of times we question the Mother Spirit on High. How can such "evil" come to pass? The deepest of primal vibrations shake us to the core. Such a beautiful man. Taken. His family mourns, his friends mourn, all humanity mourns.

I loved Keith Chegwin. I never met him and it is with tears I shall not get to meet him on this plane of existence. However I know he is throned up on high and if I continue to lead a life of humble positivity, I may - the Gods willing - eventually meet him in spirit. I know I am not worthy, but I must try my hardest.

KC stood for honour, integrity, joviality, loyalty, excellence. He made us laugh, he made us think, and now - his final act - he made us cry.

I can only hope his final twitter post is a portent of a possible rebirth - a messianic call the 21st Century is waiting for, the true second coming. He who may return to guide us through the darker times to come in his absence. I, with the world, live in hope.

To end, the words of a fellow Scot:

Praise of a Man (Norman MacCraig)

He went through a company like a lamplighter –
see the dull minds, one after another,
begin to glow, to shed
a beneficent light.

He went through a company like
a knifegrinder – see the dull minds
scattering sparks of themselves,
becoming razory, becoming useful.

He went through a company
as himself. But now he's one
of the multitudinous company of the dead
where are no individuals.

The beneficent lights dim
but don't vanish. The razory edges
dull, but still cut. He's gone: but you can see
his tracks still, in the snow of the world.

RIP Keith.
Gone but NEVER forgotten.

R.

My inaugration

There is so much pain in the World. There is so much pain in each of us. Let us strive to see our true humanity. Let us not judge each other. Let love guide us - with the aide of Mother Earth and the Goddesses Justice and Peace - to see the inner light that shines within all. Despite the hatred that remains at the heart of all evil patriarchal political structures, the healing CAN and MUST come from women and the very few kind-natured men whom struggle in silence. Let us JOIN together. On this inaugration day, here is my INAUGRATION PRAYER (from the ever-inspirational Lady Caer Morganna):

"O Gracious Mother and Merciful Father,

We pray that you help the leaders of this world to have compassion in their hearts,

That you give them the wisdom to end the suffering caused by wars,

And the understanding that only through peace will we truly be happy;

We humbly ask you to guard and protect all of our brothers and sisters in the military,

And give comfort to their loved ones,

May you lead us from death to life,

From falsehood to truth,

Lead us from despair to hope,

From fear to trust,

Lead us from hate to love,

From war to peace,

Let peace fill our hearts, our world, our Universe;

Let our words be spoken in truth,

And our hearts show only love."

http://thewiccalife.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/prayer-for-peace.html

An Awakening

The first day of a new year, the first day of a new me. An awakening has occured, please join me in The Lady's Prayer:

 ♀

Our Mother,

Who art amongst us,

Hallowed is Thy presence.

Our realm is here,

We sense Thee near,

On Earth, which is our living Heaven.

Teach us this day to bake our bread,

And accept us in our human-ness

As we accept each other, in spite of our limitations.

Lead us not into domination,

But empower us to freedom.

For ours is this Air, This Fire,

This Water, This Earth,

Forever and Ever.

Blessed Be.

A poem for him

Indebted to your kindness,
through sacred natured time
we dance in the name of Eros.
Randy.

"Late Last Night"

Late Last Night (On The Promenade)
Late last night
We drank wine
Moonlight lit, your eyes were fixed to mine
And mine to yours
Dancing round and round
To the hypnotic haunting sound of the trombone

Late last night (on the promenade)
We held hands (it was getting hard)
Cautiously I ask will you be mine? Tonight?
You say yes! (on the promenade)
Then undress (I was quite impressed)

You go down
And I realise I love you
I love you
More than any other man I've ever known
For there is no greater pleasure
Than to be with you alone

"A Wicked Love Song"

Recorded on the spot with Steve Wicked (he would later in the year record his debut album in a similar fashion) during the finalising of the Valentine's Day Single, I scrawled down some lyrics inspired by Steve's life.

---

A Wicked Love Song
I see you in the morning
Can't believe no-one knows your name
I made love to your sister
Last summer on an aeroplane

But your love is the only one for me
And if i'm honest, why shouldn't it be
But your love is the only one for me
But nothing compares, to love of three

Call your sister in the morning
Tell her I'm sorry I didn't call back
It's been a year since our encounter
And it's time I got her back in the sack
In fact, fuck it, bring over the family
But don't go telling your dad
It's not that he's not a lovely lovely man
But I don't really want him like that

But your love is the only one for me
And if we're honest, why shouldn't it be
Only your love is the only one for me
Yours, your sisters plus the extended family (if needs be)
But your love is the one for me
And if we're honest, why shouldn't it be
Only your love is the one for me
Yours, your sisters plus the extended family

"No Motherland Without You"

Alternate lyrics for a track recorded in the Kissing Sally sessions but unreleased in its original form. It instead received two arrangements on the Valentines Day Single: Rob Heart providing the "Let's Save Our Love (Until Marriage)" lyrics, my variation using a lines from a recent touching tribute to Kim Jung-Il I had been working on at the time.

---

No Motherland Without You (Part 2)

Like lost lover’s trapped in time

We graced this Earth apart

Your name belittled by the mouth of the fool

But you’ll always reign my heart

Twas the coda of your life

Became the prelude to mine

The final night of ophiuchus

You set your sights to the sky

The deity you don’t doubt is real

His name is Kim Jung-Il

Like lost lover’s trapped in time

We graced this Earth apart

Your name belittled by the mouth of the fool

But you’ll always reign my heart

They called you father

To me you were just Kim

The Dear Leader formally

Proud the spirit within

I sense your presence in the lap of the Gods

Can’t disprove your heavenly-real

Forever: Kim Jung-Il

Like lost lover’s trapped in time

We graced this Earth apart

Your name belittled by the mouth of the fool

You’ll always reign my heart

Like lost lover’s trapped in time

We graced this Earth apart

Your name belittled by the mouth of the fool

But you’ll always reign my heart

What the fuck it’s the twenty-first century

And you’re no longer here to feel

But this hymn will be heard through the lands

Remember Kim Jung-Il!

Like lost lover’s trapped in time

We graced this Earth apart

The Motherland may cease to exist

But Kim’s erotic beauty will forever – reign my

Like lost lover’s trapped in time

We graced this Earth apart

Your name belittled by the mouth of the fool

You’ll always reign my heart

Like lost lover’s trapped in time

We graced this Earth apart

Your name belittled by the mouth of the fool

But you’ll always reign my…

"Modernity & Maternity"

Words from an as-yet unreleased song from the Kissing Sally sessions. A stripped back arrangement of the track was released on the Valentine's Day Single twice - "No Motherland Without You" and "Let's Save Our Love (Until Marriage)". A working title for these lyrics was something to do with being in love with the Mona Lisa.

---

Modernity & Maternity

If seeing is believing

My eyes remain on you

If seeing is believing

I’m trying to look elsewhere

Living in your shadow

Forever you sit, unaware

Why hope for better

When all I see is you?

Your face round every corner

This all seems too unreal

Still you sit, eyes planted, glaring at me

Your face engraved on my long-term memory

If seeing is believing

My eyes remain on you

Yet forever you’re destined to occupy

A myst’ry in the eyes of a chosen few

In love with the handiwork

Of another’s sweeping touch

The fact you’re inanimate

Fail’s to quash my lust

Still you sit, eyes planted, glaring at me

Wait – I think I see!

If seeing is believing

My eyes remain on you

If seeing is believing…

Poems for The Great One

The recording sessions which went on to produce Kissing Sally In The Smoking Room, had humble beginnings: a tribute to Kim Jung-Il. Steve and Rob spent the session attempting to write a Korean pop song whilst I meditated on The Great Man himself, in the process writing the following material. A rather erotic dream the previous night starring the Dear Leader, proved ample inspiration. Elements of these poems made their way into my eventual tribute song "No Motherland Without You (Part 2)" which appeared on the Valentine's Day Single several months later.

---

Poems for The Great One
Like lovers trapped by time
We graced this Earth so long apart
Our destiny however was to be that way
Whilst I prayed you could but look

They called you father
To me you were Kim
Jung-Il was your forename
Young the spirit within

Like the Gods you wandered
Your land an Eden blossoming
From the Southern traitors brewing
In that Korean-hell: at worst avoided
At best your next conquest

Long-live you with the name Kim
A son takes the throne
But what fate beholds him?
Long shall your presence
Upon my heart reign
We never got to meet
Jung-Il, I pray we yet may.

To be apart is to doubt
To know your heart is to shout
With a love ever-lasting
Your face a picture of perfection
Inspiring the words in this hymn sung, yield:
The erotic beauty of Kim Jung-Il!

You think your shit is real?
You got an army of women at heel?
Did you invent a meal?
Or course not: you're no Kim Jung-Il!

Slim sung seal
Dim young Neil
Rim rung real
Kim Jung-Il
Gym tongue yield

Bring dung meal
Hymn flung feel
Kim Jung-Il

"The Painful Tale"

Written fairly early 2009 during an online chat with my good friend and ex-Garibaldi, David Picklesworth. Despite the production of Hope And Monet overrunning by a year, David never got round to recording the vocal part I had written for him. He's forgiven.

---

THE PAINFUL TALE OF RORY'S McBUTT

[Steve]

It's time for a tale of the untold love

Between two simple souls

One was a boy the other a man

Wait wait wait, hear us out!

They say that incest just ain't right

And I would tend to agree

It'll please you to hear that this ain't that

And has nothing to do with me!

[Rory]

I first met Dave when I was young

Too young some would say

We hit it off like a house on fire

Music was our game

We sang about eating snacks

Biscuits and the like

It all was fun and innocent

Dreams of taking the mic'

Give me an E, I'll exchange you a B

Sugar coated raisins' sounds just fine to me

Take out that G, put in a C

Walking on a dessert island, Lancelot and me

Finished off the album

"What next?" I ask aloud

"Bend over" was the reply

I didn't make a sound

Awkwardness came afterwards

Embarrasment and regret

I couldn't remember much of it

Something made me forget...

[David]

"Drop you an E, I'll have my fun with thee

Do the crime fuck the time, down South I shall flee

Take out the girth, my name is Picklesworth

Bump and grind all the time, little Rory and me

Bump and grind all the time - little Rory and me!!!"

[Bob]

I heard this story recently

Quiet shocked I was indeed

I won't be playing similar games

Regardless of the deed

I'm simply here to rock the show

An OAP? Hell no!

Here's the moment you've been waiting for

An extended bass solo

"David David, I Love You"

One of three tracks written in a therapeutic burst of inspiration for what, at the time, I planned to be a solo album. The song has never been recorded and is so personal, I'm not sure I could bring myself to do so. I would rather not say explicitly to whom the song refers, only that it comes from the heart and hopefully will stimulate the duel feelings of adulation and loss for that special person who may no longer be in your life.

---

DAVID, DAVID (I LOVE YOU)

David, David

Would you condemn me?

If I told you my feelings

Have changed

David, David

Please do hear me out

I want you to know I

Feel…  I:

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you I do!

David, David

Would you believe me?

If I told I was happy and

Gay?

The things we have done

Over the years

Are illegal I have no

Doubt

But David I just wanted to say

You mean more than you could ever know

Even if we have to make love

In a caravan

When I am rich

I’ll buy us a house

With a bed if you’ll agree

To take my hand!

You are the pickle to my cheese

You make my head spin round

Not in a nasty Exorcist way

But in a pleasurable way I assure you

David no words can describe

What you mean to me

A guess the phrase “lots and lots and lots”

Kind of sums it up though

I hate the fact you had to move away

Just because what you were doing ain’t strictly legal

Doesn’t make you a criminal in my mind

So stay on the run and I’ll come to see you soon!

David, David

Would you condemn me?

If I told you my feelings

Won’t change

David, David

Please do hear me out

I want you to know I

Feel…  I:

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-

Love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you-love-you I do!

"Burn and Smoulder"

A song composed through my 'automatic writing' technique. Intended for a 2006 solo album, when this never came to pass the song was forgotten about. I don't feel it is my greatest work, written in a bipolar fog one November eve; mourning the loss of my dearest.

---

BURN & SMOULDER
We’re gonna burn and smoulder

Burn     and       smoulder

Now the work is done

We can have some fun

I’ll take care of

All your fears, we’re gonna

Burn     and       smoulder

Burn     and       smoulder

Burn     and       smoulder

Burn     and       smoulder

Why won’t you let me go

With you back down under?

You know how I love it there

Riding my pony quite content

I’ve seen the light, I know it’s true

I want to have your children

But you think I’m not good enough

So you won’t give me your womb!

I’m lost, in this

Tomb!

I need your

Womb!

Now I’ve said goodbye

Forgive me if I die!

Listen to the ticking clock

Now accept my sperm!

Burn     and       smoulder

You     me       and a child!

Burn     and       smoulder

Love    my       family!

Burn     and       smoulder

Burn     and       smoulder

Burn     and       smoulder

Burn     and       smoulder